Trepidation about the Process of Getting Knocked Up.

We have finally decided to move along with getting knocked up. Trepidation creeps up my spine.  Last year I just was not mentally ready to see a BFN after losing my Grandma.  After we did our taxes, we saw that we are going to be able to go to the RE before we thought we were going to be able to.  The thought makes my palms sweat and I become sick to my stomach.  I know going to the RE we are hitting the Big Leagues.  I know that they are going to want to hit it with all there is to hit with.  I want that.  I really do.  I am tired of playing in the Minors.  I am ready to go Pro. 

But I am also scared.  I have been looking foward to trying again.  I have been excited about this next step. 

Now, I am scared to death. Why?

I am not not really sure of all the reasons.   I know these will be the people that can tell me  if a pregnancy is possible (I really do not see why not, my body does what it is supposed to when I am medicated.  I just do not think Dr. D was a heavy hitter). 

I know that they are going to want to do many tests and procedures.

I am scared about money. 

I am scared about it not working. 

I am scared of it working. 

I am scared of it working too well.

We think probably by the end of April or the beginning of May we will have our first appointment.  In the meantime, we are concentrating on losing weight (more on that in another post) and eating healthy. 

I do ask for prayer.  Peace, patience, strength and more patience.  Patience has never been a virture of mine...