Happy New Year!

A New Year's Kiss!

What Mom did New Year's Eve!

What Sadie did New Year's Eve.
Brandon
Doesn't he look cute?
My in the world are my cheeks so red (nope a drink of alcohol in me!)?

Family Pictures!

My Grandmother came down for Christmas, so we took advantage and took a few family pictures!

Christmas Pictures!

Here are some pictures from Christmas. Christmas Eve we went to my Mom's for dinner and stockings. Christmas day we had breakfast back at Mom's. Then that evening we did our "Christmas" (my Brother had to work that day).

Wickett enjoy a box!

RAMBO! Brandon modeling.

Grandma ripping into a gift!
All things ladybug!
All things Tech!
Mom is going high-tech!

Mom opening a stocking gift!

Sadie and her new toy!
Us in front of Mom's tree!
Sadie Sue

Alan trying to undo a knot!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

I just wanted to take a minute and wish everyone a Merry Christmas!! We are going to my Mom's tonight and then they are coming here for Christmas Day! Stay tuned for pictures!

O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree!

Last weekend we went to the tree farm and picked out our tree. We didn't realize how fat it was till we got it in our apartment! I think it is the fatest tree I have ever seen! We got our lights on it and decided that it needed some more. We added two strands of the fat light bulbs. Now it looks perfect!

Alan adding the star!

The finished product!

Gingy's Condo!

Today Alan and I decided take on the task of making a gingerbread house. Well, actually we cheated and bought a kit. I don't think we would place on Food Network Challenge: Edible Gingerbread House, but we had fun making it! FYI, if get inspired and decide to make one-I'd wait longer than the recommended 15 mintues between assembly and decorating. Ours fell apart when we started working on the roof!

The "E-Z' kit
Before the decorations.
Alan eating the chimney (By the way, he said it didn't taste very good).
Gingy's Condo.

Gingy's Condo again--that is him with the Blue eyes!

What Can You Do With This?

Well, I started with this...
and I got this!

Box full of Rudolphs!

My Mom and I were trying to figure out something to give our co-workers for Christmas. After some thinking, I came up with these pins! I think they turned out really cute! I can't wait to give them out tomorrow. I think I'm going to try and sell the extra ones. I would really like to make and sell crafts, but...it would take some money to get the inital supplies and right now that is just out of the question. Maybe next year!

Muller Optical

Today my co-workers and I went on a field trip to Jackson, TN to visit the lab that makes our lenses. The people at Muller are so nice and very friendly. We talk to these people several times a day so it was nice to finally put a face to a name and a voice. They gave us a tour of the lab. I never knew how much it took to make lenses. After they passed out goody bags, they took us out to lunch to the Jackson's country club. It was SO good. Anyhow, we had a safe trip there and back. Thanks Muller!

Present (Within the Last Year)

BRANDI AND ONE OF HER "MAIDS"--LAURA!


ALAN AND HIS FAMILY (OKAY...THIS ISN'T WITHIN THE LAST YEAR, BUT CLOSE ENOUGH)!


ALAN AND BRANDI


BRANDI


K-I-S-S-I-N-G

BRANDI'S FAMILY ACTING CRAZY--AS USUAL!

ALAN (MY FAVORITE PICTURE)!

Past (6 Years Ago)

I thought that it would be fun to post some pictures from our wedding--just to see how people have changed--and even really how friendships have changed. I plan on posting some "Present" pictures, so stay tuned!

JUST MARRIED!


THE BUSBY FAMILY WITH THE BRIDE AND GROOM!


THE SMITH FAMILY WITH THE GROOM


THE GROOM WITH HIS GROOMSMEN!


THE BRIDE'S FAVORITE PICTURE OF HER NEW HUSBAND!


THE GROOM'S FAVORITE PICTURE OF HIS NEW WIFE!


THE BRIDE WITH HER MAIDS AND FLOWER GIRL!

6 Happy Years!

Six years ago today, I married my best friend. That day was truly the best day of my life. I remember like it was yesterday. The usher having trouble lighting the candles. The guys missing their cue--not once--not twice--not three times (finally one of friends had to go get them. Know what they were talking about? FOOTBALL!). One of the biggest things I remember is Alan waiting for me at the end of aisle. The look on his face was priceless. I also remember thinking that this was the longest walk of my life! I knew this was the start of something great--a new chapter to my life--our life. Over the last six years, we have loved, argued, laughed(oh gosh the laughs), cried and have grown--not only as individuals but as a couple. I am truly thankful that I have Alan in my life and can not imagine what my life would be like if he was not there. Alan, I love you. Thank you for making me your wife!

Does God Hate Me?

To answer every one's question...no, I haven't fallen off the face of the earth and yes I'm still alive. You can also tell that last cycle we didn't get the results that we wanted (it's a very long story and I really don't want to rehash all the details--but the good thing out of is that I made my own egg! it was good size for the baseline ultrasound and was 2.9mm on the next ultrasound).

I really can't say that we are handling it any better than we did last time. We both are very angry, confused and bitter. We don't understand why everyone else seems to have what ever they want whenever they want it? Why does it always have to be the hard way for us? There are lyrics to an old Metallica song called "No Leaf Clover" that I keep repeating over and over in my head..."Then it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of your tunnel was just a freight train coming your way". I'm so sick of getting our hopes us and then just when we see some light at the end of our tunnel--life smacks us right in the face.

I'm so tired of being a good person, trying to do the right thing, turning the other check, etc...WHY CAN'T I HAVE THE ONE THING I HAVE WANTED ALL MY LIFE? What have I done that is so wrong to make me not deserve it? True my life is better than some. I have a wonderful husband, great family, a job and a roof over my head. BUT it feels like there is always a constant battle for us to keep up. Why is it that some people can half-way do their job and never show up and make more than me? Why is it that people who never pay there bills, end up with a better credit score. Why is it fair for a 16 year old to have TWO babies, when I would love to have one? The more I see, the more I think that being a "better" person gets you nowhere.

I remember when I started college, I started questioning things that I had been taught all my life. One of the biggest was does God exist? After some time, thinking and just living life, I decided that he did. Now, as I stand on the threshold of my 30s, I'm wondering the same thing. I am starting to believe that if he does exist then I must be considered "one of his red-headed step-children" (not sure if everyone will get that one) and he enjoys hating me and putting me through this. Will I end up end with the same answer I got when I was 18? Honestly, I not sure.

To everyone who that I've pushed away. I'm sorry for doing that. I had to have a break from "on-line". That meant e-mails, my blog, phone calls, etc. To be honest, I haven't wanted to talk to anyone. I've just wanted to be left alone. I'm moody, sad, depressed--you name it. I know that this is going to continue with me for a while...not really sure what type of blogs I'll be writing, but please don't be offend if I write something that you don't necessarily agree with. Honestly, I feel that if you don't completely know my story and haven't been through what I've been through and what I will continue to go through, then you don't have the right to disagree or tell that I'm wrong for what I am saying. Again, I'm sorry for not staying in contact with everyone. I hope everyone understands.